IT'S SCARY OUT THERE

I'm sitting here in my apartment on the night of Halloween. I was going to go out dressed as Andy Warhol (sans bullet wounds) and walk New York's Village Parade, but I decided to come home instead. It's too scary out there, and I don't mean the streets of lovely weathered New York City with its ghouls and goblins hobnobbing drunkenly on the streets.

I'm frightened because what I keep hearing from certain politicians scares the living crap out of me. There are Republican boogeymen around every corner, uttering scary phrases every which way I turn. Among the scary phrases:

1. Stay the Course.

2. Measuring the Drapes.

3. Democrats Want the Terrorists to Win.

It's scary stuff, folks. Please help me stop being so afraid by doing the following on Tuesday, Nov. 7th:



What are some of the scariest phrases you've heard lately from our Republican boogeymen?

FixAVote.com

The crazy thing is that 30 people have called Election Consultants to inquire about their services.

Go figure.

Web Site Offers To 'Fix' Elections - For A Price
Robert McMillan, IDG News Service Fri Oct 27, 11:00 AM ET

That's the mantra of Election Partners, whose slick Fixavote.com Web site offers such services as "real-time voter correction," and "enhanced retrospective tallying." The site features attractive stock-photography models and inspirational New Age music.

"Using state of the art technology, we overcome the challenges of competition and ensure election results for our clients," the Web site states.

But according to electronic-voting experts the site is most likely satire.

Rush Limbaugh: The Bad News and the Good News

My friend Yvany and I were talking tonight about Rush Limbaugh's hoof-in-mouth disease in regards to Limbaugh's unfortunate comments on Michael J. Fox's commercial for Democratic candidate Claire McCaskill in Missouri. Fox, as you may know, suffers from Parkinson's disease and uses intense medication to regulate his ability to function in a somewhat normal manner. The commercial stars Fox offering his take on why we need stem cell research and endorsing the candidacy of McCaskill.

We thought it particularly kooky that Rush, on his radio chubbiehole cam, physically mocked Fox in addition to mouthing off about him. Said Yvany, "The bad news is that Rush Limbaugh is still alive; the good news is that we now know Rush is sicker than Michael J. Fox."

Indeed.

The View From Your Window

Taking a page from Andrew Sullivan's daily "View From Your Window":

Museum of Jewish Heritage Conference Room Looking onto New York Harbor and the Statute of Liberty, Battery Park, NYC, 3:30 PM

This is a Boom

This is a boom:

Mourners bid final farewell to murdered Russian journalist

Thousands of mourners have gathered in Russia to pay their final respects to murdered journalist Anna Politkovskaya. Tributes have poured in from around the world in memory of the investigative reporter. Anna Politkovskaya was remembered as one of the few journalists to report on government policies and human rights abuses in Chechnya. Though members of the opposition were at the funeral, no high ranking Russian officials could be seen.

Anna Politkovskaya was shot dead in the lift of her apartment block on Saturday in a murder widely believed to have been a political contract killing. President Vladimir Putin has said the crime would not go unpunished. There are reports that five people caught on security cameras are suspected of her murder.

The journalist has been buried at a cemetery outside Moscow, leaving behind two children.

And this is another sort of boom:

Fire, Explosions Light Up Night Sky Over Baghdad
Ammunition Dump Explosions Rock Baghdad

(October 10, 2006)—A fire and a series of violent explosions in an ammunition dump at Forward Operating Base Falcon Tuesday south of Baghdad lit up the night sky over Iraq’s capital city.

Early reports indicated personnel were evacuated safely from the base.

Military officials say there's no word of anyone being hurt.

But the blasts went on for at least half an hour and were felt several miles away.

Helicopters could be seen flying over the area.

Officials are investigating the cause of the fire.

CNN reported there were concerns the flames could spread to adjoining residential areas.

Thousands of troops from Fort Hood’s 4th Infantry Division are assigned to the capital city and surrounding areas as part of Multinational Division Baghdad.

Neither are very good.

A friend of mine pointed out that Anna Politkovskaya died on Vladimir Putin's birthday.
Happy birthday, Mr. President. Happy birthday.
I hope your birthday candles didn't go boom, too.

Entering the "TERRA Phase" of Election 2006

Now that we are entering the TERRA Phase of the current election season, I believe that we should just ease on down the road and focus not only on Foley and what creeps like him bring to the electoral process, but also on how safe IS President Bush really keeping us? Sure the DOW is up, but how's it hanging for the average Joe? How do we deal with crazies like Kim Jong Il without becoming like him and his State?

You know it's going to be "9/11, 9/11, 9/11"-type rhetoric 24/7 until the election. Bush is going to call people who don't agree with him traitors and cut and runners and dimwits all he wants, but he's such a lame leader at this point that the hens (Ahmadinijad, Kim, and Chavez) are starting to hunt the fox.

Bush, Foley, and the lot of them in power on Capitol Hill are bleeding from self-inflicted wounds of the past few weeks, and many esteemed members on the right are questioning their resolve of obesience to the King. At the same time, they are too desiring of power to see the forest for the trees. Wounded animals are very dangerous. A firm hand and a tranquilizer usually does the trick. I fear, though, that the voting masses may just be the ones with the dart in their neck.

We need to focus not only on Foley, but on the whole enchildada. We can talk about more than one thing at a time. We can't allow them to get the upper hand in the "EVERYONE RUN FOR THE HILLS!!! AEEEAKKEHHHHH HERE COME THE [INSERT NAME OF ENEMY HERE"] TO DESTROY YOU!!!! portion of this movie. We've been here before.

It's almost as if we're paying our enemies to spout off just before the election.

Pshaw... conspiracy theories... It's a good thing I'm not into them.

Meanwhile... will we be fooled again or will our own political/personal agendas cause us all to fall down the rabbit hole? I'm trying to find yet one more metaphor to rip apart, because seriously, it's going to take a metaphor to get us the hell out of the situation that we find ourselves in.

Let the ELECTERRA portion of the TERRA Phase of the election cycle commence!

God help us all... and Go Tigers!

To the Detroit Tigers

The Main Entrance to the Comerica Park, AKA Detroit Tiger Stadium

Dear Tigers,

The last time you guys won the World Series, in 1984, I had just left Detroit that September to attend New York University. I was a little sad that I hadn't been there to watch the Series with my dad, but a little happy to have missed the Bubba Helms mini-riot directly after the game. Dad and I use to watch baseball and football together all the time. I wasn't that into football, but I always liked the baseball, and dad taught me the rules of all the games and matches we would watch together. (I always impress men that I actually know how games work.)

So it's kinda funny that I left Detroit just when you guys last won the whole enchilada, which kinda means that's the year I left my dad, too. He and I were really close when I was younger, and from what I understand, when I moved, I kinda broke his heart. So now, you guys are back in it since 1987 and then he dies just before you make it back to the post-season. Strange. Possibly only to me, but strange nonetheless.

I told him the night before he died that I would come back and tell him what the game scores were; I didn't get the chance, as he died early the next day.

Anyway, my dad and I have been looking forward to you returning to the post-season game for some time. We badtalked you to no end at times, but he was happy when the new stadium went up. He only went once, but his legs were bad, and he didn't like the crowds, so he never went back. Vesti, over at the irreverent "Intellectual Comedy Salon," poked me with a stick when I kept saying how sucky you were. He quickly convinced me that it was "steady as you go" and that the team was rebuilding and doing well. I said fine, but I could still call youse guys sucky cause you weren't winning!

My dad owned a bar in Detroit, and back in the 1960s, baseball and basketball players from the Detroit teams would come into the bar. We don't have many pictures of the younger days at the Moonglow Lounge, but one of my favorites is a series of photographs of Detroit Tigers player Willie Horton, enjoying a night on the town at my dad's.

Detroit Tiger player, Willie Horton, at the Moonglow Lounge, 1960s

Dad passed away in August, so he won't be able to see you guys play. You might not win this year, but you're looking good for the time being. I'll look at the playoffs, like I usually do, with one eye on something else, but I hope you all the best against the Yankees.

I can see the Bronx bombers stadium lights outside my window, and I take the subway every day past the it on my way to work. The Yankees are tearing up trees and a park right now to make way for a new stadium right next to the old stadium. Actually, the trees disappeared three weeks ago. Steinbrenner throws money at things and knows that everything will work out in his favor. He took that park with promises that I only hope will come true for the immediate neighborhood. I personally, would like the Yankees not to win per year for every tree that was ripped out of the ground for the new stadium. For the trees' revenge. Someone's got to look out for them.

For my dad, I would really like to see you Tigers win. We'll see what happens.

Good luck. You're gonna need it. The score is already 5-0 (Yankees), bottom of the 5th, first game. It's gonna be a long night for someone.

Don't mess with me! I'll tear your heart out! I'm a tiger! Rooar!

Yours forever,
Edward and Elderta

Bring Me the Head of a Speaker!

Well... I would actually just settle for his seat, so that Nancy Pelosi can sit it in.

Dennis Hastert is now in a fight of his political life. Mr. Hastert allowed Representative Mark Foley (whoops, that link says "CURRENT VACANCIES; try THIS LINK instead) to continue in his position as a representative of the State of Florida, despite the fact that Hastert knew Foley may have been anathema to young boys. Mr. Foley is now hiding at an alcohol treatment and rehabilitation facility. Or maybe he's at Gitmo. Who knows these days?

So... go check out Hastert's opponent at Act Blue:

John Laesch

From ACT BLUE:

Denny Hastert may have been an idealistic, albeit very conservative, legislator when he first got to Washington over 2 decades ago. If he was, he certainly isn’t any longer. A highly partisan street fighter bogged down in the minutiae of Inside-the-Beltway bullshit, Hastert has lost touch with Illinois Main Street values. Today he is a grotesque patsy for the worst of lobbyist abuses—a bought-and-sold congressman who is a disgrace to our Founding Fathers. John Laesch is a man of integrity, strength and vision, Hastert’s first serious challenger of his entire career. Probably too independent-minded to expect adequate financial assistance from Inside-the-Beltway, Laesch needs grassroots support to get his message of hope and renewal out to voters. We had a great live blog session with John at Firedoglake and you can read it here

A House, Just a House (and a Senate Would Be Nice, Too)

Yesterday, I noted that I need a House, and I wouldn't mind a Senate, either.

For my dreams to come true, I believe Republicans and those Independents leaning toward the Republican abyss, should wake up and face reality. I posted a link to a comprehensive list of Republican corruption scandals, and now, a list of symptoms that you should consult to check yourself in case of rampant Republicanism gone wild.

Larry Johnson helps you to recognize if you have the Republican malaise. You should immediately seek medical attention OR vote for a Democratic candidate in the House or the Senate to cure Republicanism. Your life depends on fast action.

1. If you enjoy shoplifting while working at the White House, you might be a Republican.

2. If you enjoy soliciting teenagers and children for sex over the internet, you might be a Republican.

3. If you enjoy sending other people’s children to war while your kids go to college and hang out in bars, you might be a Republican.

4. If you start a war in Iraq while lying to the American people that Saddam was tied to Osama Bin Laden, you might be a Republican.

5. If you failed to complete your own National Guard service and your Vice President received five deferments to avoid service in Vietnam, but accuse political opponents who challenge your failed foreign policy in Iraq of being cowards, you might be a Republican.

6. If you call dark skinned people Macacas and Niggers, you might be a Republican.

7. If you ignore intelligence community warnings that Bin Laden is determined to strike inside the United States, you might be a Republican.

8. If you follow policies that squander a budget surplus and create an $8.5 trillion dollar budget deficit, you might be a Republican.

9. If you expose the identity of an undercover CIA officer in charge of tracking down Iraqi weapons of mass destruction, you might be a Republican.

10. If you believe the President should be entitled to jail, without recourse to Habeus Corpus, anyone he decides is a threat, you might be a Republican.

Larry's conclusion to a ready cure: "After careful consideration, I realize that I lack the moral bankruptcy, cowardice, and fiscal recklessness to call my self a Republican. I've decided, I am an American."

I say, Be an American: Vote Democratic.

There are more "You Might Be a Republican" symptoms posted at Johnson's site. Learn the signs and cure yourself!