Sunday, January 20, 2008
Life is Incredibly Easy
A friend of mine who is a social worker and who's been helping me cope with the past two years told me the other day that I needed to say some mantras in order to comfort myself when times get tough as well as enforce changes in my pattern of thinking. She's not the first person, nor probably the last, to tell me this. I've had a quasi-easy life, with a bunch of rough patches here and there, but the conditions of the world and the neverending voice in my head that tells me I'm gonna go to hell has taken its toll. Now, the cycle of life is being replaced by the cycle of death (the longer you live, the more people you know will pass away, until it's your turn), and while I'm generally happy, I do get down now and then.
Starting in January 2006, my kitty daughter, Zanzibar, died of an adrenal gland tumor. My dad then passed away in August 2006 of colon cancer. My foster brother, Brandon, died at the age of 20 in March 2007, and then on December 21, my aunt Helen died of a heart attack. On January 2, I found myself no longer working. Happy New Year!
Not having a job at the moment is actually a godsend, truth to tell. I've been so tired and emotionally drained over the past two years, that having a break is not necessarily a bad thing as long as I am able to find a position in the next three to five months. I have an entrepreneurial streak that I inherited from dad that will get me through this, and heck, I have three or four simultaneous careers, so something is bound to pan out. I'm trying to take this time to reassess and care for myself without going crazy that I have no job. (I've added a donate button to my sidebar, just in case anybody out there wants to throw me a buck or two... thanks!) Luckily, my social worker friend gave me some excellent mantras to recite, the most relaxing and comforting of which is: "Life is Incredibly Easy."
Now, as you can probably tell from my blog, I quite understand that life is NOT incredibly easy. Wars, genocide, bad government, etc., happens all the freaking time. To top things of, I'm become addicted to reading Andrew Sullivan (ack!) and a para-military force in Second Life has moved in next door to my tranquil house and they've just built a friggin' firing range in what was once a peaceful sim (eek!). Compared to what others are going through at this very second, I have it pretty damned easy. I just corresponded with an independent journalist (The Vigilant Journalist) who was very recently in the Kibera section of Nairobi, Kenya, where clashes between citizens and the military have taken place. People keep asking her if another Rwanda is about to happen. Not. Easy.
So, I'm well aware that life is NOT incredibly easy, but actually saying the words over and over again is quite comforting. Repeating the phrase helps get me through the day, even when I see documentaries like "Taxi to the Dark Side," which I saw last night with my fellow Billionaire, Yvonne. Thank goodness I immediately was able to go to a potluck party afterward because the documentary is quite devastating as well as on target. I said my mantra about a million times afterward on the subway ride out to Brooklyn. In other words if I compare myself to others, life is damned easy.
I wish everyone an incredibly easy life. Even under impossible circumstances. Well, everyone but Dick Cheney. That dude needs to be impeached yesterday.